Faith of the Fallen

This school year has already been vastly different from last year. This time last year, I was bumbling my way through the first trimester. Last year was a strange dichotomy: excitement and hope that comes with being green on the job, pitted against the anxious nerves of teaching in a foreign school system in a different language. On one hand, I felt like I could really change things. On the other hand, I felt like I had the power to also ruin chemistry for these kids. As the year wore on, both these thoughts faded away for me.

But this year began differently. I now know that I made an impact with many of my students from last year. It’s reassuring to know that I have influenced my kids, but it is far from truly making a change. Which makes me feel I’ve found what I believe may be a fundamental truth of teaching: I can’t force my kids to learn. There is a quote that I wrote in my notebook at the beginning of last year: “Knowledge is not what the pupil remembers but what he cannot forget.” The best I can do is to offer them an opportunity to learn, but nothing more. I can be a tool for them, but they have to decide that learning is important, helpful, and ultimately something they want.

Maybe it sounds a little jaded. It probably is. But I’m only mortal, and I don’t have enough time and energy to work hard for everyone, only to have most throw it away. So I have to sit back, and wait. I need to know who desires to know a better way than the school system.